Weekend Movie Roundup: 'Old Dogs,' 'The Road' and 'Ninja Assassin'

by Mike Krumboltz    November 25, 2009

Good news for folks looking to escape "family time" and take in a movie -- you'll have plenty of options this week. There are several new films opening in time for the Thanksgiving holiday, and the critics are weighing in with their takes on whether or not Hollywood's efforts are worth your money.
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Two best friends -- one unlucky-in-love divorcee and the other a fun-loving bachelor -- have their lives turned upside down when they're unexpectedly charged with the care of 7-year-old twins while on the verge of the biggest business deal of their lives. The not-so-kid-savvy bachelors stumble in their efforts to take care of the twins, leading to one debacle after another, and perhaps to a new-found understanding of what's really important in life.

Based on its critical reception, Disney's "Old Dogs" looks destined to play dead at theaters. The film has garnered atrocious reviews. The Chicago Tribune granted the film zero stars and explained that the movie is "a great opportunity to gather family members you clearly think are stupid."

Online critic James Berardinelli granted the movie half a star out of four and wrote that "there are some experiences no one should be subjected to even in the name of science." And the carnage didn't stop. Entertainment Weekly gave the film an "F" and lamented the disappearance of Robin Williams' dignity. Moviegoers -- you have been warned.

The Road

R, 113 minutes

An epic post-apocalyptic tale of the survival of a father and his young son as they journey across a barren America that was destroyed by a mysterious cataclysm. It imagines a future in which men are pushed to the worst and the best that they are capable of -- a future in which a father and his son are sustained by love.

Reviews for Oscar contender "The Road" were much more positive. The film, based on a Cormac McCarthy novel about the end of the world, isn't exactly uplifting, but critics applauded the film's largely CGI-less look of muted grays and stark landscapes. Also getting much acclaim -- Viggo Mortensen, who plays a man desperate to protect his son from the horrors of a post-apocalyptic world.

Deborah Young of The Hollywood Reporter called it "bleak but intense." A.O. Scott of The New York Times also praised the movie, but did note that the film's folk-inspired musical score "turns the sublime into the sentimental."








Raizo is one of the deadliest assassins in the world. Taken from the streets as a child, he was transformed into a trained killer by the Ozunu Clan, a secret society whose very existence is considered a myth. But haunted by the merciless execution of his friend by the Clan, Raizo breaks free from them...and vanishes. Now he waits, preparing to exact his revenge. In Berlin, Europol agent Mika Coretti has stumbled upon a money trail linking several political murders to an underground network of untraceable assassins from the Far East. Defying the orders of her superior, Ryan Maslow, Mika digs into top secret agency files to learn the truth behind the murders. Her investigation makes her a target, and the Ozunu Clan sends a team of killers, led by the lethal Takeshi, to silence her forever. Raizo saves Mika from her attackers, but he knows that the Clan will not rest until they are both eliminated. Now, entangled in a deadly game of cat and mouse through the streets of Europe, Raizo and Mika must trust one another if they hope to survive and finally bring down the elusive Ozunu Clan.

For adrenaline junkies, there's "Ninja Assassin." The action film, produced by Andy and Larry Wachowski of "Matrix" fame, scored mixed reviews. Some critics were surprisingly positive. Chris Nashawaty of EW gave the film a "B" and applauded the film's "very cool" fight scenes.

Other reviewers were a bit more tepid. David Thomas of Filmcritic.com awarded the film two out of five stars, noting that it will "likely disappoint action fans with excessive CGI gore." Unless she herself is a ninja, you may want to leave Grandma at home.